The smartest organizations know the power of documenting their processes so they are replicable, equitable, and aren't dependent on just one person.

But we haven't applied that degree of intention (or documentation) for how we care for people during the inevitable, disruptive life events that will occur.

Empathy shouldn't be the only "leg" that governmental or company policies stand on, but it certainly deserves a seat at the table.

Not a bug - but something that can bring out our best.

• I'm too empathetic - it's exhausting sometimes!

• I know that if I ask them how they are doing, it's going to be a whole thing

• You don't understand - they enjoy being stuck in drama (or sadness)

These are some of the reservations that I hear from clients.

And their apprehension comes from real life experiences.  Perhaps you've been there too, as the conversation seems to get stuck in an emotional morass.

Especially at work, this can be difficult for managers and coworkers to navigate.  Which leads them to avoid conversations about disruptive life events entirely.

This was the year of the break-up, the death, or the deep loneliness - and today is a reminder of the disruptive life events and the world that is not-how-you-want-it-to-be.

I hope you have some good people around you, ones that can look up from their own plans or chocolates to give you a hug, a coffee, or just a listening ear.

And while we can’t, ultimately, know who we would be until we are in the moment, I know that empathy and kindness and courage don’t emerge from a vacuum. These traits are forged (or not) in a hundred small moments.

Moments where it would be easier to turn away, to just keep going in the other direction or onwards with the task instead of caring for the person.

It's hard to know what you haven't been taught.
Most of us didn't receive any purposeful instruction on how to be empathetic and connect with others.  We seldom teach it in our MBA programs or our onboarding.  

And yet, we need our leaders, managers, and team members to operate in this skillset again and again.

Maybe solstice is the invitation you need – if you don’t feel abundant or generous - if this year was hard and cold and only looks to be more of the same. 

The end of the year is a naturally reflective time where we set revenue goals and resolutions.  For forward-thinking companies, it is also a time both to celebrate and to mark loss.

At it's heart - empathy demands that we value people enough to sit with the gravity/impact of their stories/perspectives - to be affected.

Violence is awful, reforms are necessary when systems repeatedly fail people.

And there is definitely room for reform + increased empathy within these systems.

Holidays can be hard: instead of being marked by Hallmark charm/glowing gratitude, they can be an aching reminder of pain.

You can choose to spend a lot of time and energy in judgment/annoyance - or you can engage your curiosity and wonder

The reality is, in the working world, you are (probably) going to have to continue to be in contact with people who vote differently than you do. 

And, I get it, you might be so emotionally flooded right now that curiosity and relationship seem out of reach.  However, I encourage you not to burn bridges.  The way that people change their minds is through relationships with real people who think differently than they do. 

Whether it is 1992 or 2024, elections come with high stakes and big emotions.  And 2024 is no different.  A recent report from the American Psychology Association found that 3 of every 4 Americans are stressed about election day (next Tuesday!).

A helpful question to ask, at work and in life, is –

What else might be going on here? or Why might that person be responding the way that they are?

Every time we talk about AI, we are necessarily talking about human-centric skills.  As we ponder what tasks/capabilities that we can/should offload to artificial intelligence we are, by necessity, talking about what we should not offload - what are the tasks, the interactions, the capabilities that we want delivered to us from other humans?

"I love DC but I hate it here right now" a friend confided. Perhaps you feel it too - a certain exhaustion + dread six weeks out from the election.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month and this week's newsletter has some guidance on language, helpful podcasts, and some of my favorite thought-leaders on the topic of suicide and the workplace.