"This is a great country" - Seeing through different eyes

I've traveled to Washington DC twice over the last eight days to work with clients.  The tension in the capitol is marked.  

There is a sort of heaviness, apprehension and uncertainty that is pervasive.  

In the midst of my comings and goings, one of my favorite things about being in DC (other than the great food and free museums) is talking with the Lyft drivers, who represent the nations.

As I was coming back yesterday afternoon to the hotel, Abdurrahman was my driver.  He arrived with his wife, daughter, and two sons from Afghanistan in 2023 - sponsored by his brother, who was a contractor with the US Government.

Abdurrahman worked in HR with a private company and had over 300 direct reports in Afghanistan...that all changed when he fled the country of his birth:  he is currently driving and making ends meet in DC.

It was a long(ish) drive and I wondered about the adjustment to a new land and culture.

"I love it here - there is so much freedom.  Everything is OK when you have freedom."

His fifteen year old daughter wasn't able to go to school in Afghanistan.  Here, she is studying hard and hopes to be a doctor.

"My boys, they will be OK - but it is my daughter that I am so happy about.  I am just so happy that she can learn.  And that I can go to the park with my wife, we couldn't even do that in my country."

When I asked about how people welcomed him, he told me about their kindness:  "The man who met me in Dulles was so kind - he was a Black man and he was kind to me.  And then there are people who are in my apartment, they are married and one is Black and one is not and that is OK and they are so happy.  That would not happen in my country."

He continued, "and everywhere I go, I see that there are others from my country who are working, they are answering phones or driving.  They are welcomed.  Here, you can work.  My friends who went to Europe can't find jobs."

His voice dropped a bit, "Perhaps you won't believe me, but in my country, where the Taliban rule, each Talib has four wives.  And, if they see a girl they want, they take her.  That won't happen to my daughter here."

***

Sometimes, it can help to see through different eyes and be reminded of the good.

One of the greatest things that I get to do is critique my country and work to make it better.  

And, right now, in America, we are in the middle of big, unwieldy and important conversations about who we are as a people, about where we give attention and access, our power and resources.  

Some people are excited, others are exhausted and grim.

I was reminded, through the eyes and story of Abdurrahman, that some of the best of who we are-and-can-be as people is to be people who are kind, who create opportunities for others, who extend a welcome and reach out with care.

Whether that is to a stranger, to a coworker, or to a person that lives in your home - each movement of kindness matters and helps to co-create communities that we all want to be a part of.

Book Recommendation

If you saw me crying in airports or while waiting for my daughter as she shopped in downtown Carmel, it was probably becuase I was in the middle of (re)reading "Island of the World" by Michael O'Brien.

This work of historical fiction tells the tale of Josip, a Croatian, and his story if marked by great suffering and loss in one of the lesser-known conflicts of the 20th century.

But, the reason I was rereading it and whole-heartedly recommend it is that it is, more than anything, a story of hope in the midst of dark times - of learning to be a person who doesn't just endure suffering but is a person for others.

The margins of my copy are marked with notations and this is one that I will revisit throughout my life - perhaps there is something for you in the pages as well.