Cliché. Definition: a phrase or opinion that is overused and displays a lack of original thought. Also, a common (and crappy) way to verbally process someone else’s pain. I call this the Cheer-Up Cheryl response pattern, wanting to make it “better” for someone else. Here are a few of the thoughtless, devoid-of-original-thought verbal garbage that we go to…

Any other working moms out there? Continually aware of all the ways you are falling short, trying to survive, work, and parent in the midst of a global pandemic? Then you will delight in this NY Times article too! 12 Moms, celebrating their secret strengths...the little successes that we all too often overlook in the press to do and be more.

I yelled at Luke, threw a book across the room, and was so bone weary I couldn’t even cry. Mother’s Day, 2011. Eight weeks after I buried my daughter, Mercy Joan. I was not OK. The day is right around the corner (May 9). And Mother’s Day is so much more complex than the Hallmark cards make it look…

When you mishandle someone who is hurting, and you will (none of us is perfect). Apologize. Try out this phrasing: “I’m sorry. I didn’t show up/respond/care for you the way that I would have wanted to. I was careless/too busy/didn’t know what to say. I am going to do better moving forwards.”

The entrepreneurial life can be lonely!

Expressing our humanity through shared sorrow, not just to the Internet but with our colleagues and friends, is vital. It is part of the path towards healing and meaningful change.

We have to stop hijacking the narrative when someone is hurting…

Always learning about my biases...I have minimized the experience of Asian Americans with my language.

“Work is for work; keep home at home”. False. This brutalizing perspective cleaves people in two: dividing the work self from the messy, rest-of-life self. If your culture does not make space for weakness, if you penalize emotion as being too feminine or too distracting, you aren’t avoiding the “problem” of emotions.

Celebrate the small wins today…

Empathy shows up in your calendar. Because our calendars manifest what is important to us. And as much as I want to be a person that supports those around me, the needs are too big and I often get caught up in the moment. That is why I plan for empathy in my calendar.

How do you view rest right now? Because if you can’t allow yourself to rest, you won’t allow others to rest either. And that is the road to burnout.

I passed a game of pick-up football yesterday. A bunch of boys playing. And as I walked past, one kid missed a tackle and was slow to get off the ground. "You're so gay! You're such a homo," his teammates taunted. Ugh. There is still so much work to do.

I took yesterday off. It was the ten-year anniversary of my daughter Mercy’s death. And I knew that I wouldn’t be present for a meeting or a training or a sales call. A decade of growth has taught me to make space for my grief. Make space in my body. Make space in my schedule. What I resist, persists.

“Remember” means to put together again. Each time you ask the name of someone who died, sit while their loved one tells a story…each time you recall an anniversary, send a card, or just say, “I’m carrying this sadness with you”, you are helping ease someone’s burden in some small way.

Imagination and curiosity are key to cultivating empathy...Magnus, my fifth grader, was in tears. He just returned to school after a COVID quarantine. On his way to Chess Club, another boy mocked him. “Disgusting! I don’t want to play with you. You’re the COVID kid!”

What a pleasure to spend my morning with the leadership team at Gregory & Appel for an Empathy at Work training session. Thanks to Jami Burdine for making this initiative happen! For the last year, I’ve worked with this painting by Magnus (age 11) as my backdrop. Sort of a Sesame-Street-meets-Edvard-Munch tableau. It captures the ethos of the age…the “What is happening?!?!” sentiment that seems to just keep manifesting itself in different situations.

My 11 year old tested positive for COVID two weeks ago. He’s been convalescing in the above-the-garage bedroom and the rest of us are making do. And here are a few observations on what support looks like during quarantine...

Four years ago today, Moses (my youngest son) underwent open-heart surgery.

Our community rose up around us with mighty care during those winter weeks. My heart is full as I remember the many friends and coworkers who

Delivered meals
Watched our other children
Waited with us in the hospital lounge
Brought coffee and cookies and brisket
Took photos
Ran errands
Prayed for/with us
Sent texts
Just listened
Cried with me

The echoes of their support go with me in every session I teach and each word that I write on the importance and impact of empathy.

"Human Skills are Power Skills (ditch term “soft” skills)"

"Collaboration, Creativity, Compassion, Empathy, Problem Solving, Resilience (these skills have become critical in the pandemic)". Quotes from Zabeen Hirji

Yes to all of this! These are the skills you need to help your people survive, stabilize, and thrive.

Who are some leaders you know that are excelling at this type of leadership?