Days of Remembrance

Mercy would have been 10 on February 15.

Last year, I felt a surge of sorrow as I pictured myself at 75, still mourning my dead daughter. “I am going to feel this loss every year…and what if I, one day, just have to carry this grief all by myself? By that time, my parents will be dead and my children will be busy and who will be there with me???”

That is an almost primal fear and a bedrock sorrow. I remember leaving St. Vincent’s Women’s Hospital where the doctors and nurses knew me only as “Mercy’s mom”.

I thought, “I will spend the rest of my life wishing that more people knew me as Mercy’s mom.” Because the truth is, I am a mother of 5 children, but you will only ever meet my 4 living children.

So, I am grateful, year in and year out, for those that carry her memory with me. She has profoundly shaped my life and my work. This year, I received a few texts, two beautiful plants, a heartfelt email, and a meal on her birthday.

“Remember” means to put together again. Each time you ask the name of someone who died, sit while their loved one tells a story…each time you recall an anniversary, send a card, or just say, “I’m carrying this sadness with you”, you are helping ease someone’s burden in some small way.

Who can you reach out to today?