How To Be Helpful: Empathy Leave

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Loss and disruption don't fit into tidy categories. 

A dear friend is getting on a plane tomorrow to fly across the country to attend the funeral of her cousin's 18-month old son, who died suddenly.

There is no by-line in the leave policy to cover the cousin-who-you-grew-up-with and the awful, gaping loss of their child.  

How about when the dog who got you through the divorce, the dog that always held space for you in a way that your parents never could (or would) gets the awful diagnosis and you know that there are only a few days left?

Most boilerplate bereavement policies (if your company even has one) cover parents, siblings, spouses, and children.  

How can you structure your policies to make space for the messy, unexpected nature of loss?  I've got three resources for you to consider.

Empathy Leave
"Empathy Leave" is a great title for a truly meaningful addition to your total rewards package.

A friend of mine is one of those wonderful HR pros who is always looking for ways to manifest company values.  Monique knew that there wasn't a lot of budget for expanding total rewards, but she worked with what she had and put Empathy Leave into place.   

Empathy Leave is five days you can use throughout the year in addition to your other leave + FMLA benefits.

Compassionate Leave
The team at Cocoon calls their policy Compassionate Leave, designed so that "employees can cope with anything life might throw at them."

I appreciate the granular thought that went into the why of the policy and how it looks for their company.  

You can check it out here; see if it spurs your thinking for what this could look like at your company.

Bereave
One of my favorite, emerging resources for leave policy and all things grief in the workplace is Bereave. 

Justin Clifford and his team do a great job of bringing together helpful resources; check out their articles on truly transformative, compassionate leave policy here:

Fathers Day


Sunday is Fathers Day in the United States.  There is probably someone in your life who is going to experience complicated emotions on Sunday.

  • They've said goodbye to their dad this year

  • They are a grieving father, with a child who is struggling/sick/dead

  • They are estranged from their father; thinking of him and the whole day is painful

This is a gentle reminder that grief is so, so isolating.  It is powerful (and important) to know that you are not alone in your emotions and in your loss.

Consider reaching out with a text, an email, or a call.  Better yet if you want to show up with a cup of coffee and a listening ear.  

You don't have to have magic words; it can sound something like this:  "I'm thinking of you today.  I imagine that Father's Day feels hard/complicated/sad.  Just want you to know that you aren't alone in whatever you are feeling"