I'm Learning to Be Patient
/The water from the fridge was a thin stream, slowly filling my son's water bottle this morning.
I was passing through the kitchen, multitasking with a smoothie in one hand and a phone in the other.
"Moses, you should just fill it up at the sink, it will be faster."
And he turned his wide eyes to me and said, "My teacher is helping me learn to be patient."
I smiled, caught off guard by his wisdom.
Why was I rushing him? He wasn't late.
Where in life did I learn to so highly prize efficiency? When did we begin to believe that if it's faster, it must be better?
The capitalist illusion is that we are no more than what we produce/accomplish…and I’ve internalized this relentless churn in so many ways.
There is goodness for me when I slow down. Which usually begins with paying attention to my body.
Are my shoulders high and tight? Is my foot tapping the staccato rap of irritation? Am I sighing, loud and long, at the person in front of me who is so very slow in the self check-out line?
When I notice these signs, it is an invitation to me to pause and to breathe.
My husband made me a cold-plunge for my recent birthday, customizing a chest freezer with cedar panels and a scene from Lake Superior on the top.
Immersing myself daily in the chilly water is a practice of intention. The mindbody activates, shouting at you: get out now!
But as I go deeply into my breathing, what seemed unbearable becomes...bearable.
And this breathing/intention has helped me over the last month when I am in frustrating, emotionally charged situations. I breathe, pause, and consider: how else could I experience this situation?
Maybe, like Moses, it could be a moment of intention, experiencing the joy of watching the small stream of water fill the cup.
Where can you (and I) embrace the slow-and-patient today?
Podcast Recommendation
He is a gift and every day is enough: cerebral palsy
In 21st century America, there is a sort of triumphalism to the birth announcement. We cheer on a new life and assume that a healthy, “normal” baby will arrive nine months later.
But the story often diverges, taking a detour through the NICU and into uncertain terrain. In this episode of the Handle with Care podcast, Peter Kline and Janice McRandal share about their son, Leo, who has cerebral palsy.
You will hear about the early delivery, the tumultuous first year, struggles with the feeding tube and the looming burden of uncertainty.
You will also hear their love for Leo and for each other, their journey into an affection, a love-without-expectation. There are sharks, speeding tickets, and an Australian accent
This is an episode for anyone that is in community with a parent of a special-needs child, it will help you deepen and expand your ability to give care in ways that matter.
But, on a deeper level, it is an episode for all of us as we wrestle with and integrate how our stories take us into unexpected terrain. Peter and Janice offer wisdom for the journey.
Breath Work
Wim Hof also known as The Iceman, is a Dutch motivational speaker and extreme athlete noted for his ability to withstand low temperatures.
As I bring more intention to my breathing (and plunge into cold waters), I've appreciated his YouTube tutorials on breathing. Who knew I could hold my breath for 90 seconds?
The affect is profound. You can check out this introductory tutorial on Wim Hof Method below.