Commiserating Candace: stop hijacking the story!
/Stop hijacking the story!
“My grandpa was just hospitalized with COVID-19 and I’m really worried…” your friend/coworker confides.
If you instinctively respond with something like this, “My aunt got hospitalized with COVID-19 and she recovered; I’m sure he will be fine” you just hijacked the story.
When you immediately rush in with your own story, you become like Commiserating Candace, taking the attention off of the person sharing. There is a time for sharing your own story, but take time to truly listen (and empathize!) first.
Better responses:
- “I’m so sorry; that sounds scary.”
- “What a stressful time for you; I imagine cooking is the furthest thing from your mind. Can I send you a gift card to a local restaurant?”
- “Ugh! I have no idea what that is like but it sounds rough.”