Layoffs, Trauma, and Disordered Identity: An Interview with Jon Tesser
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Jon Tesser, Career Whisperer
Companies devote resources to hiring the right people: investing in on-boarding, recruitment, and hiring. They seldom devote a fraction of the intention to how they let people go. However, the way that you fire people says as much about your company culture as the way that you hire people.
How can you fire someone with empathy, easing their transition into the crowded job market?
Because your processes, the way that you talk about the departing employee (to their face and behind their back) communicate something powerful. It sends a message to your remaining employees about how you value their labor, which effects on how they engage or disengage from your culture.
This episode is a rich conversation with Jon Tesser. It has something for employers and managers: we talk about how to fire someone with empathy and how to avoid piling on the shame.
There is also something for the many of you who have lost your job: the trauma of lay-offs, he emotional PTSD that can occur when you lose your job. We talk about male expectations, class differences, and how lay-offs can actually make us better, more empathetic people.
You can find the Handle with Care: Empathy at Work podcast on Google Play, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. And you can listen to the episode here:
Here are three key take-aways from my conversation with Jon
Lay-offs are a life trauma for the men and women that are being let go. As an employer, consider how you can have these conversations with care, eliminating unnecessary shame on top of the transition. Do you have a clear plan? A severance package? As a boss, can you use your network to help someone find their next role? And, consider this a point 1b. There is an emotional toll to how you do layoffs. Jon is a man who wants to be empathetic, but he has found himself less and less willing to give of himself, in a deep way, to his working environment. Are your policies and practices towards lay-off contributing to this workplace disconnect? Because it will affect both those that leave as well as those that stay. And creativity and collaboration can suffer when people are more guarded and less connected at work. The cost of the trauma is high.
Medications can help in the process of coping with loss. Jon tells how going on anti-depressants was an essential part of navigating his job loss. You can get more information and resources from your doctor.
“When you go through stuff, you find out who your real friends are.” Jon found great comfort in relying on those around him. The friends that invited him over to play with their baby, the friends that were just available to talk. If you know someone who has been laid off, make that call, send that text or email. Your support matters.
And finally, as a bonus take-away. Remember, you are not your work. You are who you are and work is what you do. This is deep wisdom for all of us.