“So, no babies?”: Megan Flinn on survival and goodness
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Megan Flinn: doctoral candidate, counselor, and founder of Hamza International Care
Motherhood is messily bound up in our concept of what it means to be female in the world. This podcast episode probes into loss and femininity and post-traumatic growth…and how you can help someone going through this sort of pain.
Megan Flinn lost her life-long hope of being a biological mother when her uterus was unexpectedly removed during surgery. Her deep disappointment and wrestling profoundly impacts her work as a doctoral candidate, counselor, and non-profit founder. “Survival and goodness is available, even in those dark places” If you have experienced (or know someone who has) unexpected loss, this episode is for you.
You can find the Handle with Care Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, and Spotify. And you can listen to the episode here:
Dog lover
Here are three key takeaways from my conversation with Megan
Just showing up matters…and your words can oftentimes get in the way of deep comfort. Megan talked about the importance of the friend who just sat there, silently, with her as she cried. In our hurry to “fix” grief and make things better, our talking often gets in the way of truly listening and being present.
If you are a manager or someone’s supervisor, make sure that you take the time to check in with them while they are away on sick leave. And this check-in shouldn’t just be about work projects or getting on the same page regarding clients. Set a time in your calendar to call or the visit just to hold space for hearing about how they are actually doing. Megan’s managers never checked in with her while she was away…and she felt that gap.
Be careful how you talk to and about women regarding their reproductive choices. We make so many flippant comments, asking women when they are going to start a family or if they are having any more children. This is tenuous territory. You never know the story behind what you can see. And so much of society has, historically, bound the value of being female to being able to reproduce. Avoid these minefields. Stop asking unless someone offers you information. And if you want to go deeper, consider your own biases and culturally conditioned conceptions of what it means to embody femininity. After hearing this episode, is there anything that you want to revisit or revise?
Elephant lover as well