How can I honor her? Jason Seiden on life and meaning after his daughter’s suicide
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Jason and Elle
Jason Seiden joins me to talk about his daughter Elle. Elle was insightful and creative and she is dead. She committed suicide after suffering from debilitating pain due to CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome) diagnosis and committed suicide at fifteen years old. What does it mean to honor her legacy, to remember her in all her fullness? What does it mean as a father to live a life that encompasses such a profound loss but is not ultimately defined by that pain?
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Here are three reflections from my conversation with Jason.
Even if you aren’t sure of what to do or say, move towards people in their grief. In his words, “Live your life, make the damn mistake,”. You won’t be perfect and you don’t have to be but your support matters.
If you are in a workplace setting with a parent that has lost a child, especially as a manager, make time to actually check-in with them, not just as an entrée to a meeting, ticking a box so you can get on with an agenda item. This might mean scheduling a call or a meeting that isn’t about a to-do list but only about hearing from them about their how they are doing.
Navigating life after the loss of a child is hard. Jason expresses the complex, internal challenge of moving forward, of not letting himself be singularly defined by Elle’s death. Sometimes it can feel sacrilegious or selfish as he leans into life beyond his daughter, struggling to be and become himself even after tragedy. If you are struggling in this journey, perhaps you find camaraderie in Jason’s reflections. And if you know someone who has lost a child, perhaps this gives you additional insight.
Live True, Be Happy #promotelove