Living with Depression: an Interview with Paul Ashley
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Paul Ashley
“How can you be depressed? You are the life of the party?” Paul Ashley has lived in the with the reality of depression as well as people’s misunderstanding of the disease since he was seventeen years old. Paul speaks about misconceptions and stigma, about feeling overwhelmed and debilitated, and about what helps him to move beyond a depressive season. His insights as a father, partner, and businessman are both vulnerable and insightful.
You can find the Handle with Care: Empathy at Work podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Play. And you can listen to the episode here:
Family Shot (not pictured: 3 dogs and a fish)
Here are three take-aways from my conversation with Paul
If someone confides in you about their depression, listen and resist the urge to say something that minimizes their disclosure. Paul was especially triggered by statements like “But you are always so happy!” Which leads to my second point
Depression can take all different forms. A person that is often “on” in their job function can be absolutely exhausted at home. Widening our perception of what depression looks like (and how debilitating it can be) will go a long way to breaking down the stigmas that promote a culture of silence.
If you know someone that is struggling with depression, regularly checking in with them can be really important. Remember, as you make contact with them, they might not respond initially, you might need to continue checking in. As Paul said, coming alongside them and doing something that they have enjoyed in the past or just showing up to be with them, even if that means not talking for awhile, can powerfully show support.
Here are links to the resources that Paul mentioned in the episode as well as to his Man of the Year Fundraising Page (you should donate to this good cause; I did!).
Bryan Brenner and Paul Ashley of First Person