Joking Julie

It can be really hard to land a joke about cancer or divorce or an awful car wreck.  You run the risk of minimizing the other person’s pain or coming off as tone-deaf. 

Maybe you don’t know what to say in the discomfort of the moment and a joke is the first thing that comes to mind.

Instead of defaulting to humor, you can name the elephant in the room by saying,

“I’m not even sure what to say right now, but I want to let you know that I care.”

Or

“I’m not even sure what to say right now, but I care about you and I’m glad that you trusted me enough to tell me.”

There are some people who, when they are going through a hard time, use a sort of gallows humor to get through the pain.  If the affected person is using humor to lighten the moment, it is OK to laugh or to join in, but pay attention to their lead and stop making jokes when they stop.