Commiserating Candace

In your urge to connect with others, you end up centering yourself in the story and hijacking the conversation. 

And you are not alone!  I (Liesel) can fall so easily into this pattern.  To balance out my Commiserating Candace tendencies, I have an almost audible voice in my head that reminds me, saying, “Liesel, it is still not your time to talk” because I want to jump in so often.

I practice intentional listening, even sprinkling in phrases like, “Tell me more” to make sure that I haven’t missed part of their story.

Then, at the end of the encounter, I offer my story as an invitation.  This can sound like, “If you ever want to talk more, my son actually has gone through some heart surgeries too and it can all be a lot.”

That way, the other person can take me up on the conversation at that moment or later on or not at all – they have a choice, which is better than me forcing them, in their moment of pain, to pay attention to my story.